Dear Reader,
I’m starting to pack up my stuff to move out of the apartment I am in right now and come to the realization I have a lot of books, but the majority of those books I have read. It is a nice to see how much I have grown to love reading over the years. It is feet my sixteen-year-old self would never believe about us. It is a great way to see how much I have changed. Come to think of it I’m very happy with the person I have changed into over the long years. I’m not perfect but who is, but I am happy with myself. I guess that is one True statement I can say about myself; I know who I am.
I’m still working on changes in my life to become better like to become healthier mentally, spiritually, and physically. A process which may never end until I am resting under a slab of stone with my name on it. The great heavy nametag of the dead, but I enjoy the fight and the struggle of it all.
In fact, I enjoy fighting a lot which by that I mean, I have been boxing with my cousin and a few friends lately. I could lose many rounds and still walk out with a smile on my face. There is something primal and masculine about fighting. It makes you focus at the moment because if you don’t, then you might end up picking yourself off the ground. The blood rushing from your nose makes you feel like a real man and it something I have needed for a while. I like to learn how to fight better, shot better, and protected myself better.
When I think about becoming a monster or a warrior, I think about the samurai, warrior poets. Also, recite a phrase to myself I heard a long time ago, the master said to his student, “It is better the be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.”
Of course, I do not wish ever to have to use any of those skills I want to develop; I just want to know I have them. Another skill I want to learn is how to hunt. I want to go hunting for many reasons, but the real reason is to have the meat to cook. I hate when people will eat meat but don’t want to get their hands dirty to do. I don’t want to be afraid of the deed or where I get my food from.
Not like any of this has to do with my writing right now or maybe, it does. Life has a way of bleeding into your work as an artist, and I’m sure it already has without me knowing. So, let’s talk about my writing … and it is going …great? Not bad? Not good? Ah, it is going.
The year of short stories is not going as plan mostly because I have already written stories all the way up to April. It is not April guys. And I finished January’s story a day ago or whenever I posted it. I’m not behind but having to break everything up into different parts takes longer to get the whole story out, but I feel it is easier for you guys. I don’t plan on changing my posting habits, but it means there is going to be a lot of stories hitting your screens soon. (Sorry? But let’s be honest here you should feel sorry for me, I have to write the bloody things.)
Writing them is not the hard part of my job. No, I love the whole writing thing, but I Hate, and I mean Hate with an uppercase ‘H’ here, editing my stories. I once read on a meme (I just hit a new low quoting a meme) that, “every writer knows when the first draft is done the real work begins.” But the meme is right, and it is true. The editing part of the writing job makes it feel like a job, but it must be done. I don’t do it well as you have read, but I like to think about it. I plan on getting better at it and coming up with a good editing habit, not sure when, but I’m daydreaming about it. Right now, the only editing habit I have is to write a story out longhand then type it up and then re-read it afterward. For those stories I write on the computer I try to read over them no less than twice, sometimes I do, other times not so much.
Look, I can feel your judgment from here, but you have to understand I am not a ‘good’ writer. Hell, I’m sure why people still let me do it on the side, someone should stop me …
I have started building a new story which means I have spent some time with the characters and have started to outline the whole story. I have also started to write the first chapter to see how everything feels in the world I’ve made and the one thing which has stuck out the most to me is my voice. My voice in my writing is slowly becoming mine, or better yet, I can see it now. If you read ‘The Madness in the Painting’ (link here: http://wpnp.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-madness-in-painting.html) you can feel how much Lovecraft has influenced me. It is a good story but sounds too much like someone else to me. I don’t think I would write it the same now, but I enjoy it never-the-less. I think what I am doing like what an artist does when they are learning to draw, they copy all the greats and steal everything from everyone; writing is no different.
Anyways, I would like to tell you about some of the things coming down the pike, but I don’t have anything new to say. I’m still going to be knocking out a story a month and trying to work on getting a book out for everyone to read, (a lot of prays would be nice on this task), but that is all I’m working on right now.
I will leave with you somethings that are fun, and they are; (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfjjSj9coA0&t=2718s) a great interview of David Foster Wallace, and then you should watch the movie ‘The End of the Tour’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBk1Mrb4RyM), a movie that hit me hard.
And on a lighter note here are my feeling about school right now; (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFJ18oj77Fk) I’m making it through it… slowly and haven’t broken down crying yet.
With a Handshake
Chase
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